Comment Wall

Comment Wall Picture of a Sunset this depicts some of the things that make me happy or relaxed. Sunsets are the most beautiful thing that exists because each sunset and sunrise are different and beach sunsets are stunning. I chose this one since it has all the elements needed for a scenery.

https://sites.google.com/view/illuminating-stories/home here is the link for my portfolio

Comments

  1. Hey Asha! Me once again.

    I am glad you are finally getting your Portfolio up and going. I know you were struggling for a bit, so I am glad to see it coming together. I read the first story of Finn an Derek when you used it as a story and I still feel the same way about it. I still think Finn gets a bad rap. He is so nice an genuine. I also wanted to be a vet at one point and so I am kind of bias. I have seen the show and Derek can be a jerk at times. Overall I enjoy the layout of your site, but I noticed the font size was different between your two stories for the title. It was a small thing, but it was noticeable. The second story was also well done, but because I have not seen the show, it made it more difficult for me to get as invested. I think that is natural when you tie in famous things with Indian epics.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Asha! I love the look of your portfolio. I think that it all fits together very well. It’s awesome that you’re exploring your culture through this project and also getting to share some of it with us! The picture of the temple in Thanjavur is beautiful. I like that you’re finding links between tv shows and Indian epics. That’s such a unique concept! I can definitely see the parallels between the stories you’ve written and their source material. When you click on the sidebar it says the titles “Lovestruck” and “Convincing Stranger,” but on the actual page it does not have those titles. I recommend maybe making a slight alteration there so it can have one title throughout. It just makes it less confusing. I watch Jane the Virgin, so I really enjoyed reading your story with Luisa and Rose. It was a nice interpretation of the story! Great work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Asha! I'm actually a student in the Mythology and Folklore class, and this is the first project from the Indian Epics course I've read this semester. As a whole, I didn't know what to expect since I had no prior knowledge of this class, but I'm glad I chose your project because it was actually really relatable. I was a huge fan of Tom and Jerry growing up, and a girl I'm friends with has shown me countless episodes of both Grey's Anatomy and Jane the Virgin. I also like the way you adapted those stories to fit the mold of the writings you based them off of. Your writing is very detailed and descriptive overall, and it was easy to follow the plot of every story. What if you included more dialogue between your characters? It might help you convey the conflict of each story to your reader a little more. I really enjoyed your project overall!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Asha!

    Focusing on the author’s note this week, the note for you Tom and Jerry story did a good job explaining the aspects of your story from the Tom and Jerry show, but I would love to see your thoughts explained about how the message in this show relates to the message in the Mahabharata since you mentioned the frenemy aspect of the Pandavas. It could be helpful to give specific examples of the Pandavas fighting and making up.

    For your Grey’s Anatomy story, the author’s note explained both the elements from the show and from the story wonderfully! I was able to see your thought process in writing the story and could easily see the connections you made between the two stories. Your Jane the Virgin author’s note also does a great job of showing how you connected the two stories and explains the Jataka story nicely.

    I liked how the author’s note was positioned on the side in the Lovestruck and Convincing Stranger stories because it looks really organized and I can tell that it is separate from the story itself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Asha,

    I think you did a great job on the Author's note for "All American." You explained the backstory well and connected it to the Jataka story. I think going into detail for this author's note was necessary because not many people will be familiar with that show. I thought the same for you "Lovestruck" story. I liked all of the detail about the background you included. For the author's note in "The Cunning Mouse," I think that you explained the tom and jerry show well. I think you could add more about how that show and your story are connnected with the Pandavas. Lastly for "Convincing Stranger" I think overall it has all of the details that help the reader understand the background. The only thing I might change is the large spaces you put in your author's note that you didn't put into the other ones. Very minor changes for all of your author's notes and I enjoyed reading all of your stories.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Asha! I think you did a great job constructing your Portfolio. It looks really modern, and it is easy to navigate. This week, we are supposed to concentrate on paragraphing in the comments on projects, so I looked at your story "Convincing Stranger" or "Sin Rostro" for paragraphing suggestions. First, though, I am confused as to which is the title of your story, "Convincing Stranger" or "Sin Rostro," since the former is in the navigation bar and the latter is the title above the story itself. In terms of paragraphing, your story reads well and does not get caught up in long, interminable paragraphs which make the reader want to fall asleep, so well done! However, the paragraphs of the Author's Note and the story get confusing on the page since in some places they are right next to each other. Maybe find a way to more clearly separate these two.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Asha!
    Love the story book and the overall theme and layout that you have selected. You really have a clean look that focuses in on the stories and does not distract too much from the stories you are trying to tell. I really like how you created a story based off of my favorite childhood show "Tom and Jerry". So it was something that immediately caught my eye. I like how you described Tom and Jerry as the best of both worlds and as frenemies. That is a very creative way to describe their relationship. I will say I am not sure how Tom and Jerry relates to the Mahabharata. I think you could clarify this in your authors notes at the bottom. But overall I really like your story, it is some great writing and your storybook layout is fantastic. I really enjoyed it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey Asha!

    This comment will be on the story I have not gotten the chance to read yet! It is for the Tom and Jerry story! First of all, I love that you chose Tom and Jerry because I watched that show so much as a kid and now that I think of it, I do not know if I should have been watching that as a kid. It is pretty violent.That is the same reason I think it works so well as a story. The plot is always so far out there and everything is exaggerated which many Indian stories are.

    I thought it was interesting that instead of writing the story as one cohesive story, you were kind of giving the background of the show as a whole. I think this may have worked against your favor because it made it more difficult to fully relate to the story. It felt like reading a synopsis rather than a story. I know it is too late to change the whole thing, but may writing it like a story would improve on it.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction of an Aspiring PA